life is hard mine is unbearable
by leahlover1208
Summary: being a werewolf means not secerts right?wrong? my name is Leah and ive beeen keeping a secert for 2 years until one day it was uncovered in the worst possible way. so i left, but now ive come back and things will never be the same. changed to M 4 chap.13
1. things are changing

I awoke gasping for air on the verge of tears. Each night for the past 2 weeks this has happened to me, and each time I was left wondering what the hell was making so damn sad that I would cry in my sleep? I mean it was normal for me to cry in my sleep when I dreamt about Sam but this was different, normally I would remember ever part of a dream but no not in this case. I couldn't remember a single detail of it at all. This bothered me I hated being weak and now for what seemed like no apparent reason. I laid back down to try to go back to sleep, I was so tired lately even though I got a few hours of sleep it was never enough. The reason for it was obvious, ever since Jacob imprinted on the spawn of the leech and Bella swan he was never around. Which meant he was slacking on his alpha duties so we rejoined Sam's pack, much to my disliking along with the rest of the members of the pack. This meant more patrolling and stricter rules with sam in charge I hate how uptight he was. Things were rough at first but all in all things have gotten better, I mean sure everyone in the pack still hated me except for 4 people but things got less awkward at least. Being in Jacobs pack made me less angry not to mention being away from Sam helped me heal a little bit though it still hurts. I rolled over to go back to sleep when I heard a howl, it was Sam calling another meeting.

"Ugh" I moaned, I really didn't want to get up, I could just stay in bed and sleep for a couple more hours the offer sounded so tempting but when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come on sis we gotta go" my little brother complained. "Fine" I gripped and got out of bed. I put on a pair of shorts and a tank top and but my hair in a messy ponytail. We walked in silence as we reached the beach; everyone was there except my favorite wolf. Jake. We had become best friends after I joined his pack, he was always the last to show up at the meetings because he was always with Nessie. I sat down next to Seth and embry, embry and Quil were among the 4 people in the pack who actually gave an effort to like me along with my brother and Jake. We sat there chit chatting until he showed up naturally no one talked to me so I stared off into the waves to avoid quaking at Sam as I did so often.

"Don't start the party without me" he boomed as he squeezed between me and Quil.

"Look who finally decided to grace us with our presence" I joked

"o well if it isn't my favorite weregirl" he put his arm around me and looked to Sam to begin.

Me and Jake had become really comfortable with each other we were best friends, anyone not in on the secret would think we were dating each other because we were constantly hugging each other. But Jake was just really affectionate that way; our closeness seemed to bother everyone not to mention shock.

The meeting ended quickly the basic stuff blah. So we had to patrol it was agreed upon that Colin, Brady, Jared and Paul would take the night shift. Embry, Quil, and Seth would take the afternoon shift. This left me Jacob and Sam on patrol now. I honestly don't ever remember agreeing to this I wasn't really paying attention Jacob was distracting me with some dumb story about something the big leech did, o I mean Emmet I was trying to call them by their names as a favor to Jacob.

Man this was going to be a long day I hated having patrol with Sam made it harder to control my thoughts but at least Jake would be there ranting about how nessie did the cutest little thing.

"Meeting adjourned" Sam stated.

Me and Jake began to walk towards the forest leaving Sam following behind us, if he hadn't started speaking we would have forgotten he was even there. That was something she loved about Jacob his ability to make her forget the thing that hurt hr the most….Sam.

"Ok Jacob you will go north, Leah south and I'll go west we will met up here in 10 minutes." He ordered.

"Ey Ey captain!" Jacob said in like the goofball he was, with a huge grin on his face.

I turned to phase when I felt a sharp jab in my lower stomach, it hurt a lot which surprised me but it went away quickly. After regaining my balance she tried to phase but couldn't. Sam huffed impatiently urging me to hurry up. I tried again but nothing, finally I yelled "I can't phase". They looked at me shocked then Jake phased back. "Are you sure?" The pain in my stomach returned it was worst but not too bad I ignored it and tried to phase again.

"Nope I can't"

"Maybe you stopped phasing Leah"

His word shocked me, being a wolf was a burden but it still was a major part of my life and I couldn't imagine me not being one.

As the thoughts crossed my mind the pain returned this time I grabbed my side, the pain was getting worst and worst. The world started to spin and I felt myself getting closer and closer to the ground.

"Leah!" was all heard before everything went black.


	2. what you dont know can hurt you

I woke up on the coach at Emily house. I tried to piece together what was going on when I was suddenly over crowded with worried wolves.

"Leah, are you ok" Seth said nearly in tears.

"I'm fine" I said trying to get up but found it hard as he has practically holding me down, "what happened?" I asked unaware of what happened.

"You tried to phase but couldn't then you passed out, you have been out for 3 hours now." Sam said in a matter of fact tone.

"Oh" I said as I woke into the kitchen to get some orange juice. Poured myself a glass, as I took my first sip all eyes were on me.

"what" I asked annoyed that I was the center of attention, I could tell something bad was gonna happen.

"Leah" Jacob began I could tell it was gonna be a long speech so I stopped him before he could finish.

"Stop I know what you are thinking." I sat in one of the chairs at the table noticing that Emily had just taken a rack of cookies out of the oven, she put them down for all of 2 seconds and they were gone, man those guys could eat. I continued "look I know I couldn't phase earlier and you all are probably thinking I can't phase anymore so to save you all the trouble I will try to phase later and if it doesn't work then well, we know for sure."

They all just stared at me, one because I took the words right out of their mouth and two we'll probably because I said it without the slightest hint of an attitude.

"Well ok then" said Jacob with a big grin finishing the last cookie. "But Leah are you sure you are ok?"

All this concern was getting on my nerves "ugh I'm f-"I stated to say but then the pain was back the pain I felt earlier when I tried to phase. Yep it was in the same spot but this time it was different this time the pain was worst. I grabbed my side as it came it was as if someone had hit me with a baseball bat in my gut 20 times.

They all instantly surrounded me hounding me with questions. "Are you ok? whats wrong?" were the first thing I heard but the rest was drowned out by screams. Who was screaming? It took me a second to realize the most obvious answer…me!

"Ow that hurts" was all I could muster up in between screams and the excoriating jabs of pain. The pain was getting stronger I began to scream louder as a pair of arms grabbed me for support I instantly realized it was Jacob.

He tried to comfort me but it didn't help. As I screamed in pain I felt something trickle down my leg at first I thought I had simple dropped my orange juice but as I look to see I then realized that it was not orange juice. It was blood.

Why am I bleeding? Is it my period? No it can't be I haven't had it for 2 years now not to mention the pain now vie had cramps before but never this bad. Then the worst case scenario popped up in my head is I dyeing??

When I came back to reality I realized that Sam was now holding me and Jacob now frantically talking on the phone. I was pissed for many reasons, 1. Because Sam was holding me, even though deep down I wanted him to hold me like this forever and never let go. But right now just the thought of him touching me repulsed me especially while I'm in this much pain. 2. Because I had finally figured out who Jacob was talking to, the doctor leeches. I figured he was calling for help but I refused to go there I refused.

"No I won't go there" I yelled gasping for air the pain had not stopped it was getting worst as I clutched onto the counter it finally bake under my hand.

They all tried to plead me to go but I didn't want to listen, I refused to be associated with those leeches. I tried to get away but Sam had a steal tight grip on me and even if I got away there would be about 8 more people trying to stop me from leaving. But as I tried to break free the world sweep from under me and everything got fuzzy. I heard them all yell me name as I slipped into unconscious for the second time today.

I don't remember much of what happened but I remember waking up and instantly my nose was filled with the stench of leeches. I'm going to kill them I told them not to bring me here, I opened my eyes to see most of the pack here hovering over me. Normally I would have been pissed but they all had such sad looks on their faces this triggered my instinct to think of the worst. I was right I am dying thought I needed to know so I turned and asked the one person who would give it to me straight.

"whats wrong?" I asked Jake who was surprised because none of them had noticed that I had woke up. "Leah I'm so glad you are ok-"he began he was gonna sugar coat it but I needed him to just tell me the truth I'm a big girl I can handle it.

"Whats wrong" I urged my voice full of anger and worry. "I think it's best if we let Carlisle tell you." He said motioning for Carlise to come here, and then I knew it was bad I wanted to cry my heart sped up but I had to calm down I had to brace myself for this.

"Hello Leah" he began his voice was neutral as if he didn't want me to worry. He began to tell me what was going on but in a manner so I would not interrupt him until he was finished.

"Well Leah when I did an exam to see where the source of the bleed came from I discovered something shocking, Leah you had a condition called stone fetus." He said with a sigh. But wait fetus that means baby but I can't have children that's impossible even if I still did have my period I haven't been with anyone for 2 years now so I was majorly confused. I started to say something but he raised his hand to explain.

"Stone fetus is when a woman becomes pregnant and the fetus dies in the uterus, normally when a fetus dies it is expelled by the body through what is known as a miscarriage. But in some cases the body does not expel the fetus and it stays there for a considerable amount of time during which the body begins to decay and harden thus the name stone fetus. I think that you were pregnant before you became a wolf and when you transformed those organs stopped working therefore killing the fetus. But I'm not quite sure what caused it to be expelled from your body now after all this time…..

He trailed off I had stopped listening to what he was saying the last thing I remember hearing was "I'm sorry for your lost an ill leave you guys alone to talk" before he began to exit the room.

I was in shock, I was pregnant. For so long o thought it was impossible for me to get pregnant so I gave up all hope but to hear that I was brought me so much hope but then I let my mind adjust to the rest of his speech the part I most surely hated. No I'm not pregnant I was 2 years ago and now because I'm a wolf my baby is dead. Being a wolf is what killed my baby. This whole being a wolf thing had already brought me enough pain with the whole Sam and Emily dapacule now this.

Before he left I wanted to know something I needed to know, "how many months?" I asked in a low whisper but loud enough for him to hear. "From the size and development I would say 5 months." He said and then he finally walked away.

5 months is all that ran through my head. My baby was 5 months old meaning if I had just turned into a wolf 4months later I would have a baby right now. I wouldn't be so miserable but happy because I had my dream comes true. But no fate was never on my side, being a wolf is what ruined my life, and so I refuse to be one. From this day forward I will have nothing to do with wolves and I will no longer transform I'm done refuse to face the one thing that took away everything from me first Sam now my baby, I'm done.

"I want to go home." I finally managed after a long silence the rest was just a fog.

Hi guys my name is Teila sorry I didn't do this for the 1st chapter, but I hope you like this story it's gonna have a lot of twist in it but it still will be great leave comments thanks!!


	3. the truth may not always set you free

I don't remember much that happened after hearing the news was lying in bed. I'm not sure how I got there or how I was stripped from my clothes and put into new pajamas but all I remember was the over whelming feeling of pain. I couldn't sleep I didn't want to sleep I knew it would only bring me pain. I was tired of pain I had dealt with it so much when Sam left me for Emily, I cried and had nightmares. They were always the same.

It was a beautiful day the sun was shining as I stood there in my white dress and Sam looking some handsome in his tux, then the preacher finally spoke "I now pronounce you husband and wife." Then we kissed passionately in each other's arms my hair draped in my face. The dream seemed off I wanted to see my face I wanted to see myself on the happiest day of my life, so Sam did the honors of moving my hair from my face to kiss me once more. But then I saw it my worst night mare, it wasn't me in the white dress marrying Sam it was Emily. This was her day, this was her who got to make Sam the happiest man in the world it was Emily not me. But where was I wondered? Then I saw it there I was standing there with flowers in my hand a bridesmaid with tears streaming down my face. Not of joy but of sadness of lost I lost Sam forever. That dream haunted me for the past 4 months since Sam and Emily announced their engagement.

Now I knew that a new dream would now haunt me one of the life that could have been. Life is so cruel. My baby was only 5 months. If only I hadn't transformed for another 4 months my baby would be here and I wouldn't be so so bitter so only so miserably unhappy. I was sick of pain and the dreams that would come to night would surly make the pain ache inside me and it would never go away. So I laid in bed doing only that I refused to sleep to be a wolf to be anything my life was over there is no hope for me now……

I remember hearing someone come in my room. I didn't do much I rarely ate or left the house and if it wasn't for my mom I wouldn't shower either. At first I was terrible I wouldn't move at all and if anyone tried to touch me I would throw a tantrum until they left me alone. Thinking that if I did that enough they would leave me alone but that wasn't the case of course wolves are stubbrun I should know. Eventually I just gave up and let them do whatever. I decided to give them a little break seeing as they were trying so hard. So after two weeks I finally ate, then after a month I left the house but only to go to the pack meetings. Apparently the amount of time to mourn over the lost of your baby was a month so Sam had to enforce his alpha duties to make me come. He tried to get me to transform but the pack all agreed that when I was ready I could transform that is if I still could. I realized now that it was Seth he was the most patient of me he understood that I was in pain and that no matter how much he tried he would never understand my pain.

The next thing I knew I was at Emily's on the couch, I don't remember how I got there most likely they had to carry me as they had did so many times before. We were having a meeting but this time was different. While in my stuper I didn't pay attention much but when I did I noticed things, and something was defiantly going on. The first thing to trigger me was Jake. Instead of taking his usual place beside me he was leaning up against the wall his face hard like he was going to do something drastic something painfully hard. The second thing was Sam. Normally everyone would have his undivided attention that really bugged me having to give all my attention when I hated even being in the room with him. But they weren't look at Sam no their attention was direct toward someone else, me.

"Leah" Sam started his voice unsure, he didn't want to say the wrong thing I was sure. I continued to stare out the window ignoring everything he said like I usually did, but something told me that this time I should listen. I turned him not answering just staring.

"Leah we are worried about you, it's been 4 months since the, uh accident and you haven't been getting any better. We all thought with time you would get better but you just seemed to be getting worst I mean you haven't even cri-"

I cut him off speaking to him for the first time in weeks. "What are you getting at?" I asked my voice lined with anger.

"I'm just saying that we know you're in pain and that maybe..." I cut him off again, I was angry now.

"how dare you, how dare you sit here and tell me that you understand what I'm going through, you weren't forced to become a monster and you weren't forced to have that leech tell that your baby died because of what you are and you weren't stricken with the grief that 4 months 4 freaking months is all that stood in the way of having something that you've always wanted." I was screaming now. I was seconds away from tears but I wouldn't cry I couldn't cry.

"You don't think I'm sad to Leah, cause I am?" he yelled back.

"Why on earth would you be sad Sam? Huh?"

"It was my baby too Leah."

"No, no it wasn't" I screamed. His eyes widen with shock. The words I had spoken were true but they were words that were never supposed to be revealed something that I planned to keep with me until the day I died.

"What are you say? I'm the only man you have ever been with I would know-"I stopped them

"There are certain things you can block out of your memory, im not lying the baby wasn't your Sam think about it, and the baby was 5 months which means that it was conceived 2 years ago in May. The last time we were together was on Christmas." My voice was a whisper I was sitting on the edge of the couch, everyone's eyes were on me shocked by the huge secret I had just revealed.

"Who was he" he said through his teeth his hands balled into fist at the realization of what I had just said was true.

"His name was john, and we… we were in a relationship. I tried so hard to get over you but I couldn't I just couldn't I broke it off with him as quickly as it began."I said it in a rush waiting for his reaction.

He was shaking, he was upset very upset, but he had no reason to be he left me so I had to move on well at least try to. So what if I failed at it at least I tried, he had no reason to be mad.

"Why did you end it?" I turned to see Jacob asking me a question he hadn't spoken the whole time surprisingly.

"Because I had to I just had to..." I was stuttering the truth was starting to bubble up from the deep within my memory, the memories I had buried away.

"Why tell me, I know you don't just start a relationship with just anyone tell us about him" he urged he wanted to know everything but that was a long time ago I didn't want to think of him.

"No I won't speak of him no I can't forgive him" I said as the tears started to well up there was no stopping them they were coming.

"Why what did he do that was so wrong, why can't you forgive?"

"For making me love him" I shouted the tears started gushing down my face blurring my vision as screamed. " I just wanted to get over Sam and he made it worst he made me start to feel things for him and I couldn't have that, my heart couldn't take any more pain, if he broke my heart that was it there would b nothing left to give. So I pushed him away and he left. He's gone."

I stopped screaming to take a breath the tears would not stop this was the first time I had cried since the incident, it was so wrong I didn't want to cry not hear but what hurt the most were not the stares of my fellow pack members but the words that came from my own mouth.

HE'S GONE! The words stained my lips. I started to hyperventilate, it had just hit me after all this time that he was gone… and so was my baby.

I was falling in love with john but I pushed him away because I was afraid of getting hurt again but in reality the thing I thought would save my heart from this pain only ended up making it hurt more.

"He's gone, and so is my baby, he's gone, he's gone." That s all I could say, the words kept spilling out of my mouth that were they only things that were real. At that moment I could literally feel my heart break into even though I loved john I loved Sam more I couldn't get over him and that's what had allowed me to hid him from them for so long. I cried for what seemed like hours, I could tell that Jacob had me in his arms along with my brother Seth and a few other members of the pack. Sam had left long before my breakdown; I guess he didn't feel like sticking around for the rest. That night was the first night I sleep in 4 months. When I woke up the next morning there was only one thing that crossed my mind only one thing that was important.

I had to leave la push.

Ok so what do u think? Plz all reviews are needed I plan to put up the next one 2morrow so stay tuned!


	4. live through this and you wont look back

It's been two weeks since my little intervention if that's what you want to call it. Nothing much had changed, except I had missed a few things while I was in my own little bubble. Apparently Paul and Rachel had gotten engaged and Kim was pregnant not to mention that my little brother Seth had imprinted. Sure I was happy for my pack mats but my little brother. It didn't bother me that he imprinted it bothered me that I wasn't there for it. I was so hurt that I lock myself away from everyone and everything, I was so concerned about myself that I didn't think if him. In what should have been a happy time for him was kicked aside because he was so worried about me. He didn't have to worry anymore.

I keep thinking on the night two weeks ago when I revealed my secret to the pack, how I had keep it from them all this time and in a heated minute I revealed it all to them. I kept john a secret for a reason, was beginning to fall in love with him and I couldn't have that I didn't want that. Well that's what I told myself back then at least now I know what I want and what I want I pushed away and I was gonna work like hell to get back. I wanted john. I can remember the last time I was happy and it was with john. So I've decided to go after him that's why I'm leaving tomorrow and today I'm telling the pack.

For the past 4 days I had been getting everything ready to leave. I was pretty much ready to go I had my airplane ticket, I was all done with packing and now I had to say good bye the one thing that I thought I never do. It's been quite easy keeping this from them I mean I still refused to phase and I don't talk to any of them except for Seth and Jake. If I had told them they would both be supportive of my choice the only person I would have to worry about is Sam.

I called a pack meeting everyone had to meet at Sam and Emily's house. When I arrived everyone was there. Good now I won't have to wait on anyone so we can start right away. As I walked in I noticed they had put a seat in the middle so I could say everything I could and everyone would be able to hear what I have to say. I know this was Jacob's doing he was so considerate I was really gonna miss him when I was gone….. I started to trail off I couldn't think of that now I came here for a reason and there was no backing out now. I sat in the seat and stared at my fellow pack members and their imprintees.

"So Leah we are all here, what is so damn important?" Sam said obviously angry. I shrugged I didn't care that he was angry at me I had something to say and I wasn't gonna let his childish behavior stop me.

I cleared my throat before starting, they could all tell I was nerves jake gave my hand a gentle squeeze as a boost of confidence. I hadn't noticed he had move next to me actually I hadn't realized how close they all were to me. But I didn't let that shake me and I started speaking.

"I'm leaving." I said. Man that was easy I thought but they hard part was far from over it was just beginning.

"What do you mean you're leaving?" Sam said he was calm now but I knew that wouldn't be for long.

"I mean tomorrow I'm going to the airport and getting on a plane to-"he cut me of

"No" he yelled "you aren't going anywhere, we need you here the pack needs you here." He said it as an order I could feel h was trying to use his alpha command on me but I wouldn't let him.

"No you don't, the Pack will be fine without me, I'm going and there is nothing you can do to stop me." At first the words came out as if I was begging but now I was angry he was trying to make me stay knowing that the best thing for me was to leave.

"No we need you hear your our fastest runner and what if something happens we need you here you aren't going and that's an order."

I stood up from my chair shaking he was getting on my nerves he thinks just because he says so ill just listen well not this time. I love him so much but I hated him sometimes.

"no its not you can't order me to stay because this has nothing to do with the pack this is just about me and how-" I was beginning to cry as my body started to relax and stop shaking. "And how I have to get the hell outta here! I can't do this anymore, I can't pretend like everything is ok. Like it doesn't hurt me just being here. This place brings me nothing but pain, I wanna be happy."

"You will Leah and one day the right man will come along but you have to be patient." He said as if he were trying to reason with me but in reality he was begging me to stay.

"I know he will Sam but," I stopped to collect my thoughts. "It works this way, I can't be happy here we all know that. You guys don't need me here I only make things harder for you guys I need to go so I can be a better person." I said this to everyone "I'm sorry for all that I've done to you I promise when I come back will be a better person."

"When will you be back" I looked to see Seth staring at me waiting for me to answer his question.

"I'll only be gone for a couple of months, a year tops." I said. My mood was back to normal.

"A year huh, well I guess I'll see you in a year." Jake said I turned to him he was smiling he meant it he was giving me his permission to leave, I looked around the room to see that everyone nodding in agreeance with him. I was so happy they would all willing let me leave because they knew it was best for me and that's what I truly wanted.

"No-"Sam began to protest but someone stopped him the one person who I would never think would take my side, Emily.

"Let her go Sam" he turned at her in shock. "I get it you can't be here to many bad memories, if I were you I would have left a long time ago and I am so proud of you but now it's time for you to go. I want you to leave because I miss you the old you and I want you back and if you leaving is how that's gonna happen then go just hurry back to us." She ended with a smile. I walked over to her and hugged her, after all I had put her through she still loved me and now she was on my side. At that moment I knew that I had to forgive her, she said she missed me well I missed her too it's just too bad that I was leaving…

I let go of her and turned to see that Sam had left, this hurt me. I know he was upset but I was leaving this was the last time he would see me he could of at least said goodbye. I turned to the rest of the pack to hug them all good bye Jacob and Seth promised to drive me to the airport tomorrow so I had to save their goodbyes until then. I left to finish packing as I walked up to my house I saw someone pacing I realized it was Sam. He must have wanted to say good bye alone.

"What are you doing here Sam?" I was starting to get annoyed because he wouldn't stop pacing I was about to go inside when he stopped and took a deep breath. "You can't go we need you here."

Ugh, this boy gosh when was gonna realize that I was leaving and no matter what he said It wasn't going to change my opinion. "Look Sam I was willing it talk to you because I thought you wanted to say goodbye. But your obviously have some diluted notion that you can convince me to stay but you won't. I'm sorry you can go now."

"You will be gone for a year right." He asked

I paused with a sigh I had told them all that I was only leaving for a year but the truth is I had no intention of returning to la push I just didn't have the heart to tell them.

"Sam you must have known it was gonna be longer, you had to." I whispered to him.

He stared at me in shocked when he realized what I meant now that he knew the truth he would try like hell to make me stay but nothing would change my mind nothing. He just stood there so I started to walk away but he grabbed my arm I looked to see that he was nearly in tears.

"Don't go we need you here." He kept repeating himself.

"We need you here……" there was a long pause "I need you." He finally whispered before crashing his lips into mine. He was kissing me; it felt so right I kissed him back wrapping my arms around him happily. After a long moment we broke apart I was smiling.

"I'm so happy that you're staying." He said after catching his breath. What? What was he talking about?

"Sam I'm still leaving" I said confused. What was he talking about?

"But I love you" he said he was pleading now.

"No you love a girl I could never be I'm not that girl anymore that Leah is dead and never coming back."

"No that's what this was the kiss was to get you to stay I knew that it would be the only thing to make you stay." He said

I stood there shocked appalled and most of all hurt. How could he string me along like that when he knew that I would take that as him wanting to be with me? I started to shake my eyes blurry with tears. Before I knew what was happening I slapped him with all my strength.

"How dare you Sam alley. How dare you string me along that way? You know damn well that I would take that kiss as you wanting to be with me. But no you use as a bargaining chip so that I won't leave your nothing but a bastard Sam and I hope you burn in hell. I ran in the house going straight to my room crying myself to sleep. Tonight would be the last night that Sam Uley ever hurt me again.

We drove to the airport we were talking about all the good times we had. This is it this is how I wanted my last hours in la push to be with the people I love and would truly miss Jacob and Seth. We walked in and waited till the called my flight to board. When they did I saw tears in both their eyes.

"Aww guys you promised you wouldn't cry"

"Can't help it I'm a sucker for goodbyes"

"Yea sis were just gonna miss you that's all"

"Im gonna miss you guys so much." I went to hug Seth

"I'm gonna miss you little brother, stay outta trouble take care of mom, ok"

"I will, I love you Leah." He said hugging me once more.

"I love you too" I let go to turn to Jake

"Come here you big old lug" we hugged for a long moment before he finally spoke

"You know you will always be my favorite weregirl, I'm gonna miss you. You're my best friend you know even if I don't act like it sometimes I love you a lot.

"I know Jake, I love you too. Take care of Seth and yourself too ok!" I pulled away to look him in the eyes he smiled and nodded.

I pulled away and grabbed my bags I began to walk away but I stopped to turn and look at them one more time this would be the last time I ever see them again. I waved goodbye and got on the plane. As the plane began to fly away I looked back one more time to say goodbye to the place I had lived all my life the place where so much had happened. I said goodbye and never looked back.

Ok guys this was a little long I know but I hope you like it and don't worry I am nowhere near over with this story. Plz review!

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	5. ive missed you

Seth's pov

She turned to wave at them goodbye and walked on her plane. Feels like just yesterday that I watched my sister get on that plane to leave la push, leave all the pain. I wanted her to go; I knew it would be good for her to get out of her go somewhere new somewhere where pain couldn't touch her. I let her go because I knew she would come back but, what seems like yesterday happened 3 and a half years ago. It had been 3 years, 7 months and 5 days since my sister left. I know it's kind of lame for me to keep count on how long she's been gone but I couldn't help myself besides mom and Bree (my imprint) she was all I had. I needed her in my life and until she was back I wouldn't be completely happy. She hadn't contacted us in anyway after she left, I was scared at first after not hearing from her but then I realized that she needed to let us all go completely before she could come back. Many of the pack members didn't think she was coming back but I knew she would. Leah promised me that she would come back and I know my sister she never breaks a promise. Never. Especially not a promised made to me. I knew in my hear t that my sister was coming back, but when? Only time would tell.

2weeks later

I jumped in my car and stepped as hard as I could on the gas. I needed to hurry before I was late; she hates it when I'm late. I checked my watch I had 5 minutes left I prayed that I made it in time.

I ran into the crowded building. I was out of breath as running frantically trying to find her. I turned to look for her and I froze. There she was beautiful, she saw me and smiled she ran into my arms in a tight embrace we held each other for a long minute. The time seems to fly by as we hold each other "I love you" I said before letting go to see her. Leah. My sister had finally returned.

"I love you too little brother." She said as she took a step back. She looked so different, so together. Normally her hair was in a messy ponytail and a tank top and shorts. But now her hair was perfectly curled and gelled to fit her face and she wore a sun dress they went just pass her knees. This was not the Leah Clearwater I knew, the Leah Clearwater that I knew wouldn't be caught dead in a dress. She had changed, she looked….happy. She had a smile on her face a genuine smile. This change was for the better and I knew that life from now on was gonna being better for her.

We left the airport and got in my car, I hadn't told anyone about Leah calling me two days ago asking me to pick her up from the airport today. I was excited and all the while nervous as we approached the border to la push. As I turned to my sister all I could say was "I've missed you."

Sorry it took so long had lots of homework. I know this is short but ill but the next chapter up within the next 2 days!


	6. talk about bad timing

Leah pov

I was tired. It had taken me 3 days to get here, back to La push, my old home. I had asked my little brother Seth to pick me up at the airport, my mind was instantly filled with old memories as we approached the la push border. It's been nearly 4 years since I left but it seems just like yesterday that I was running through these woods. There wasn't a second while I was away that I didn't think of this place, my pack, my family. I missed them so much and I was so excited to see them all. Even though I was excited to see them would they be excited to see me? I became nervous what if no one wants me here? What if they were all glad I was gone? What if they couldn't wait for me to leave?

"I'm heading over to Emily's house; the whole pack is there, including mom." Seth said breaking me out of my panicked state.

"Why?" I asked

"I called everyone for a tribe meeting they don't know why, I wanted your arrival to be a surprise."

"Well thanks I guess now it won't be such a big deal"

"Leah you have been gone for 4 years and one day you come home with no warning of course it's gonna be a big deal" he said with a big grin on his face.

I was glad to see the years haven't changed my little brother; he was still so kind hearted. I loved him so much for that, he helped me through a lot when I wasn't the best person I could be now those years were gone and only better times were coming. I had so much to catch up with. What's been going on with him? What's been going on with the pack? I was so ready for the great stories of all that I had missed while I was away but most importantly I was excited to tell them about my adventures while I was away.

Seth informed me of a lot that had happened while I was away. Everyone had now imprinted except for 3 new wolves, I couldn't remember their names but I figured I would learn them later. Paul and Rachel had a baby 3 months earlier they named her Ashley. Jared and Kim had 2 boys; Matthew who just turned 3 and Adam who was almost 1 and Jacob and nessie had been engaged for 5 months now. I zoned out on the rest but I found myself at full attention when he mentioned one couple. The one couple that I was least excited to see and I'm sure they felt the same well one of them did.

Sam and Emily. They have 3 kids now 2 boys, Adam and Robert they were 2 twins and a girl Leah her first birthday would be in a month. I felt like I was gonna cry not for the reason anyone would think, I thought when I came back hearing the news of their life together would be horribly painful but they weren't. I was really happy for them; the reason for my tears was because they thought of me when I was away. The fact that they named their daughter after me even though I had been gone so long and even while me was here I was so horrible to them and yet still they name her after me.

The next bit of news surprised the hell out of me. Emily and Sam had been engaged for as long as I can remember and now they were finally doing it getting married. Today actually, talk about bad timing that's why we needed to hurry up and get there the ceremony was starting at 6 and it was almost 3. Seth began to hit the gas which of course made me even more uncomfortable.

We approached the little house at the end of the road, my heart began to race as my negative thoughts from earlier started to creep back up in my mind. I started to panic maybe I should wait till tomorrow or maybe I shouldn't have come back at all. My breath quickened, Seth realized why and gave my hand a gentle squeeze of support, and I began to relax as we got out of the car. Seth walked to the front door his arm around me trying to relax me. I was ok now actually I was quite excited now that I was here. I could hear the whole pack as they laughed and complained about how Seth was taking so long.

I reached for the door knob but Seth stopped me.

"You wanna know something, the reason they held the wedding off for such a long time was because they were waiting for you, Emily didn't want to get married without you there. After a while they thought you weren't coming back so they decided to finally go through with it. You being here is perfect."

"Really?" I said not believing him

"Yep, she also has a dress for you; she says it's for her missing maid of honor."

With that he walked in I stood there in shock. I heard them all sigh in relief that he was here.

"Finally" someone yelled I wasn't quite sure who though. It's been so long since I heard anyone's voices I didn't recognize any of them.

I suddenly let all my fears go and walked in no one had noticed because they had their eyes on Seth.

"Well so tell us what the big news we have a wedding to start here." Said Sam. He his voice sounded different not at all like I remember. The sound of his voice use to cause me so much pain now I was actually happy to see him.

I was tired of waiting for them to realize I was there so I finally spoke.

"Well you can't start without the maid of honor" I shouted happily walking further in the house.

They all turned eyes wide in shock all I heard was a couple of people gasp then i was surrounded with hugs of my former loved ones.

Ok so this was short well at least it seemed that way to me. But anyway hope you liked it I plan to put up the next one tomorrow that one will have a good surprise in it.


	7. wanting what will never be

2 hours later

I was sitting there half awake as Rachel did my hair and makeup. She had been asking me none stop about the 4 years I had been gone. I answered her questions as best as I could without giving to much away. After she was done I went to put on my dress, I was happy for Sam and Emily seeing as I had clearly moved on but at the Sam time I was upset. Why had Emily done this? Why had she postponed the wedding waiting for me to come home? Why did she still have this dress? Did she assume that when I did come back that I would be ok? That enough time had passed so I would forgive them. I decided to calm down and relax no matter what happened in the past it was over I needed to be happy for them.

I put on the dress and looked at myself in the mirror, the dress was beautiful. Most bridesmaids have to worry about the wearing hideous dresses but luckily Emily had good taste. The dress was a lilac color it was long and it passed my ankle, I was afraid of tripping over it, it was also strapless and it was tight around my breast and hips. All in all it was perfect. I left the dressing room to go meet the pack, I guess it was male bonding time, well pack time seeing I was a girl and all. I walked out on the front lawn of the Cullen's house, weird that they would have it here. I saw them all of them my pack members they all looked so handsome they turned to me and smiled as I joined them.

SAM pov

Today was going to be the best day of my life. Today I was finally gonna marry the woman I love, the mother of my beautiful children my soul mate… Emily. Today was going to be perfect but then she showed up. I had been waiting 4 years for her to come back and everyday of that waiting I worried about her and now just like that she is back. I couldn't help but be a little suspicious of why she was back and on my wedding day at that. Had she come to ruin it? A small part of me smiled at the fact that she still wanted me, I loved Leah but because of imprinting I loved Emily a whole lot more, and no matter how much that small part of me wanted her it would always lose in comparison to the part of me that loved Emily.

So that's why I called this emergency pack meeting before the wedding started just to make sure nothing bad would happen and nothing would interrupt the wedding. I was worried most of about what Leah would do, I hadn't told Emily about what had happened between me and Leah the night she left and I had planned to keep it that way. I knew that what I did was wrong but I needed to do I needed to know I did everything in my power to make her stay, and what I thought would keep us closer together but it only pushed us further apart. The pack still hadn't completely forgiven me for it either. They were upset that i kissed but they were even more upset for me enjoying it so much. That kiss was amazing and the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about how good life could be if she stayed. I mean we could do this every day, but the thing is I wanted her and Emily. I wanting her to stay was like me wanting to have my cake and eating it too. I pictured me and Emily being together but also me and Leah as some kind of mistress it was wrong of me to want that and I knew it but just because it was wrong didn't stop me from wanting it. But it would never happen Leah was never that kind of girl and I wasn't that kind of man so maybe now that she was back we could forget the past and turn over a new leaf.

The whole pack was there all of us minus Leah we were waiting for her. I was nervous I had seen her when she was at the house but that was only momentarily I didn't get to really see her I was really happy to see her. Mostly because she had come back **alone**. As much as I wanted her to be happy I was glad she came home alone that meant that she hadn't found anyone while she was away that she was still available. Again I kicked myself for having these thoughts, was it terrible that I wanted her to want me and only me while I got to have a happily ever after with Emily? My thought was interrupted by the bickering of my fellow brothers.

"Stop fussing with your tie Colin" yelled Seth

"Where is she god how long does it take to get dressed?" said Paul obviously annoyed.

"Well I'm sorry I took so long" we all turned to she Leah walking towards us, she looked stunning. She had a smile on her face as she approached us; I hadn't seen that smile in a long time.

"Woo someone looks hot." Yelled Jake and Quil at the same time.

She giggled "thanks" she said now finally joining the circle. What was going on? The normal Leah would have been in hell for two reasons one she was in a dress and she hated dresses plus they were giving her a compliment. Leah was beautiful and she hated whenever someone would comment on her looks especially us.

"Look at you guys you clean up nice." She said looking around the circle.

"I could say the same to you Clearwater I'm glad your back." Said Jake as he went to give her a huge bear hug, "can't breathe Jake" she breathe before he finally put her down.

"So what brings you back to la push" I said speaking to her for the first time since she had arrived. He stood there waiting for her answer expecting her to bite his head off; he was after all her least favorite person. But instead she just smiled and turned to look at all of us.

"It was just time for me to come home." She said

"So you're staying then?" I asked. She just smiled and nodded.

"Well I guess the bitch is back" Paul said his voice full of sarcasm.

"Yea but I'm not that bitchy anymore. But be forewarned just because I'm not a bitter harp anymore ill still kick your butt. She punched his arm jokingly.

"Well we are glad to have you back." I said. She was happy now I can see it in her eyes, her smile and her over all prescience. But something was missing she seemed like she was lost without something I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Good to be back" she said. "But now that we have gotten that all cleared up lets go the ceremony is about to start and we bet-"she stopped talking and started staring off into space. I turned to see who she was staring at and there I saw it a man I didn't know who he was but he was staring at her like her new that she was.

I turned to her "do you know who that is?" I asked as everyone in the pack stared back in forth between them. Then I saw it what had been missing earlier was now there it had been brought back from that man. She looked completely and utterly happy all because of him. I became writhed with hate and jealousy for this stranger.

"John" was all I heard her whisper before she bolted towards him and held him in a tight embrace. She pulled away and looked at him like there was nothing else that mattered. Then I realized where I had heard that name, the man she had been with after me. The father of her dead child was that him? Why was he here? Did she come with him? But the question that filled my mind the most was why she had that look on her face when she looked at him. Then my eyes widened in horror as I realized what was happening the reason she left, the reason she came back the reason she was so happy it was all because of him. She had imprinted on him. Then he bent his face down and met his lips with hers the second I saw that it was as if a part of me had died.


	8. fighting a losers fight

Leah's pov

There he was john, the man I had loved for years but in secret. When I lost the baby I realized I needed him so that's why I left to find him. It took 5 months before I found him, and for 3 years we had a great relationship we never left each other's side where he went I went we were inseparable. This was the first time we were away from each other, and yet he was here.

"I missed you" he whispered. I looked at him he was so handsome his blonde hair fell down passed his ears but styled to fit his face and his light blue eyes glowed as he smiled at me. He had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. Every time I was upset all he had to do was smile and I would just melt forgetting what I was mad at and focus only on him.

"I'm glad you are here" I said kissing him. "I thought you weren't coming until Friday and as I can recall its Monday." I said smiling at him hugging him tightly. It was agreed upon that I would come here first and that I would tell my family about him then he would come to meet them. But I guess our plan was ruined but I didn't care, I'm so happy that he is here in my arms, where he will stay.

"I couldn't go 4 more days without you so I got on an early flight and here I am. Are you mad?" he asked as he looked at me searching for any sign of anger.

I smiled and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I could never be upset with you." He took my face in his hands and he kissed me. Oh my knees gave way I loved kissing john it was the best thing in the world. I'm so glad I imprinted on him. I use to hate imprinting because it forced two people to love each other but it was different with me and john, we had loved each other before and imprinting on him now only mad it stronger. I was so busy kissing john I forgot that my pack brothers were there.

"Hmm mmh" someone had cleared their throat; I broke apart from john and turned to them. I smiled warily and looked at their faces half of them were smiling the other half including my brother were looking away with an expression saying 'gross', they all look happy for me. Except for one person, Sam.

His hands were balled into fist and he started shaking. I was confused you think that out of everyone he would be the most excited to see that I had found love, that I wasn't gonna make him feel guilty for leaving me. What was his problem? I decided to ignore him for now and introduce john.

"Guys this is john" they all waved to him, at him and shook his hand. "John this is Paul, embry, jarred, Quil, Collin, Brady, Sam, Jacob, and my little brother Seth. I said after they stop shaking hands.

"Wow I can't belie vim finally Leah has told me all about you guys it's nice to finally put a face to a name." he said looking down at me adoringly. God I love this man I thought as I held his hand.

"So why is everyone all dressed up?" he said, then I realized that the wedding was about to start and john was wearing jeans and a white shirt, he looked gorgeous but still very much underdressed.

"oh I almost forgot, I came at the perfect time sweetie you see Sam here" I pointed to Sam, " is getting married to my cousin Emily, and speaking of that we need to get going the ceremony will start in like 10 minutes." I said tugging him along.

"Where are we going?"

"To find Alice, if I know her she would be really pissed if you were there without a tux, I'm sure she has a spare that you can wear." I said smiling "ok "he said.

"Alice, this is john, john this is Alice, and we need a tux for him." I said while introducing them.

"Ok follow me you look the same size as my jasper, let's go." He followed her upstairs but kissing me one last time before he left. I sighed in contentment; I spun around on my heels to see an angry Sam in my face.

"Whats wrong?" I asked him

"Who is that?" he asked through his teeth.

"I told you, that's john, he's my imprint." I smiled.

"I don't want him at my wedding."

"Why?" I yelled.

"I don't trust him."

"You just met him two minutes ago, what in that short amount of time frame could he have done to make you not trust him?" I asked, I was getting upset he was being childish and making a big deal out of nothing. What was his problem?

"He isn't your imprint Leah you were with him before he can't be your imprint."

"Wrong he is and yea I knew him before, as in before I was a wolf, god Sam I thought you of all people would be happy for me." I said loudly. Now people were starting to stare the pack had come inside surrounding me and Sam but mostly Sam because he was shaking.

"I want him to leave."

"Well if he leaves I leave." I said getting angrier by the second.

"If you go with him don't bother coming back." He yelled.

His words hurt me, after all that he put me through he was actually making me chose. Between the pack and john. How could he do that to me?

"Sam do not make me choose trust me you will not like my answer." I said nearly in tears, I was hoping that he wouldn't continue this, that he would just stop this nonsense and be happy for me but no, that wasn't going to happen he wasn't backing down.

"What are you saying?" he asked he was beginning to calm down but then my words upset him even more.

" I am asking, no begging you to stop fighting me on this, because it's a fight you will surely lose, I love him more than anything and I love you guys to but if I had to chose you or him in a heartbeat id chose him." I was crying now.

I looked at him waiting for him to say something, anything. But he didn't then I took it upon myself to finish what he didn't have the balls to say.

"Fine ill leave." I said, I turn to go get john and he was already there with Alice.

"The suit was too big" she said.

"That's ok we won't be needing it, we are leaving." I said grabbing john's hand. As we began to walk out I turned to Seth and whispered "tell Emily I'm sorry." We began to walk out.

"You are not leaving, I order you to stay." Sam yelled in his alpha tone.

"No" I yelled at him, "remember you just kicked me out of the pack, and besides I stopped phasing years ago I'm not a wolf anymore. You are no longer my alpha; you have no control over my life anymore. "With that I walked out and got in john car and drove away.

"Are you ok sweetie?" he asked as he held my hand

"No, but I will be." I leaned in and put my head on his shoulder and cried.

The night I left I told myself that would be the last time Sam uley ever hurt me again, but I was sadly mistaken. He had to ruin this for me; he couldn't just let me be happy. He had to hurt me again, first he left me then he kicks me out of the pack, I cried on johns shoulder and thought over and over, I hate Sam uley. As we drove I saw it a big black wolf running after us looking back all I could think was 'I look like he ruined his suit'.

**Ok so I was feeling all inspirationally and finished another chapter, I hope you like it. I wanna give special thanks to ****ari11990 who has read my story from the beginning and commented ever time. There are others but I want to thank her personally because she helped me with a lot of great ideas. The next chapter will be up in a few days and it does include a flashback so get ready.**

**Love you guys.**


	9. back to the place where we first met

John's pov

For the first time in my life everything seemed to be perfect all for one reason. Leah. She was finally back in my life and from what she tells me she wasn't going anywhere. Each day was better than the day before, because each day we got to know each other a little better spending nearly every second of the day together. If it were up to me it would be every second but Leah refuses to let me watch her as she gets dressed. This frustrated me to no end but she wouldn't bargain with me, she was so stubborn and head strong that's just one of the many things I love about her. I really don't understand why though. I mean we shower together every night and we sleep in the same bed, I love sleeping in bed with Leah she never puts any effort in putting actual clothes on so she just walks around wearing nothing but her bra and panties. Not that I'm complaining but it's kind of hard to pretend like it doesn't bother me when my friends stare at her half naked body. I still remember the day we had an agreement about that.

_Flashback:_

_We were playing poker me, Leah and two of my buddies, Robert and Xavier. Leah had just bluffed her way into a winning hand. I love it when she lies, she looks so damn sexy! _

"_Hahaha pay up" she yells proudly, she then reaches across the table to grab her chips. As she does this I see them both of them ogling her body. Like I said she wears nothing but underwear, looking like a lingerie model. I idmetetly got upset._

"_Leah can I talk to you for a second" I asked gesturing towards our bed room._

"_Sure" she said as she walked in closing the door with a worried expression on her face. "What's wrong?" she asks._

_After riffling through the closet I finally come out with one of my t-shirts, I hand it to her. "Here put this on"_

"_Why?" she asks with a bewildered look on her face._

"_I'd just prefer you had at least one item of clothing on"_

" _I am wearing clothes and besides you never had a problem with me wearing this before", she said this as she walked slowly towards me wrapping her arms around my neck in her seductive voice she whispers, " in fact I know you love when I wear this, 'easy access' I believe your words were." She was nibbling on my ear; she knew just how to drive me crazy. I took a deep breath before I said anything because I knew it would come out shaky and labored._

"_I do love you in that you look incredibly beautiful, but I just wish you would put this on. Please just do it Leah."_

"_But wh-"she stopped mid sentence after realizing the reason. With that she pulled away rolling her eyes. She had her annoyed john you're being so ridiculous look on her face, I loved that look it brought me reassurance. Not only that she looked so cute while she did it, then again she always looked cute._

"_Sweetie we have been over this."_

"_I know, I know but I just hate it when they look at you like that. It's already hard enough when we walk in public and every guy in sight is staring at my gorgeous girlfriend, but then for you to openly walk around half naked around my friends it bothers me. God only knows what they are thinking about." I sighed._

_She was smiling now. "You foolish man. Don't you know that I love you, who cares if they look? Just think of it this way they can imagine me all they want but only you, you and only you get to get to do all those things to me. As much as I hate it I'm yours. This all belongs to you, my body, my heart and most importantly my love. So stop worrying please." She leaned in and kissed me, I of course kissed her back. I was in heaven as I was with every kiss from Leah. I pulled away to look at her, she was pouting she hated when I did that because she was Leah she loved being in charge and so did I._

_I laughed at the face she was making; I pulled a strand of her long hair away from her hazel eyes. I remember all the times I would stare into those eyes and think how lucky he was._

"_Fine" I said giving in. it was a rare occasion when I actually won a fight with her. she had this effect on me that made it seem as though all my words were insignificant compared to hers it annoyed the hell out of me but it only brought us closer together. I left the room to rejoin me friends who had eaten half the food and decided to watch TV._

"_Sorry for keeping you guys waiting"_

"_It's no big deal; if I had a girlfriend like that I would sneak off for a quickie to." Said Robert winking._

_I took a deep breath trying my hardest not to punch his lights out for saying that. Leah hates it when I get jealous, but I have every right to be. As jealous as I was I knew she was worst. I will never forget the day she broke a girls arm at the grocery store. Looking back on it was really ridiculous._

_Mini flashback_

"_Why did you do that?" I asked her, well more like yelling_

"_Did you see how she nearly jumped you?" she spat back._

"_She was the bagger girl"_

"_Oh but I heard what she was saying to you, she was trying to seduce you." _

"_Paper or plastic? A real turn on" even though I was upset with her for being so jealous and getting us permantly banned from that store I found it so adorable. After a long pause we burst into laughter._

_End of mini flashback_

_I sat down on the empty coach looking at TV; I looked up to see Leah, wearing the oversized t-shirt I gave her. I looked at her dumbfounded hadn't she just spent their entire conversation arguing on why she wouldn't put it on. She sat on my lap as usual and gently whispered._

"_It's because I love you" as she pulled away I leaned in and grabbed her face kissing her passionately. After a long minute I pulled away and whispered "I love you too."_

_End of flashback_

Yea life was perfect well until a couple of days ago. Leah decided it was finally time to go home. So we made a plan and decided that I would join her in a few days. But the moment I got back to our apartment from dropping her off at the airport, I felt lonely and lost. It must have been a part of that 'imprinting' thing she told me about. Although I didn't clearly understand what she was talking about, I understood the words 'soul mates' and with that I was sold. It didn't matter that she loss our baby even though I wish I could have been there for her when she was in pain. It didn't matter that she could never have children, it didn't matter that I hugged her to long it would burn my skin and it defiantly didn't matter that she turned into a giant wolf. Although it was scary I still didn't care I loved Leah with all my heart and nothing would change that.

I tried my best to convince myself that 4 days wasn't a big deal and before I knew it she would be in my arms again. That didn't work. I was at home all but an hour before I booked the next flight to Seattle. After 16 long hours I was finally there. It took forever to find la push seeing as how I had never been there. After 2 hours of wondering around and asking random strangers I finally found that she was at the Cullens' house. I remember that name, Leah had mentioned it once but I really didn't care I just couldn't wait to see her.

I got there to see there to see that there were a lot of people there. I walked around aimlessly until I saw a group of guys in tuxedos standing around each other. They looked familiar, I recognize them from a picture Leah keeps on the nightstand, and she said they were her brothers. I walked up to ask them if they knew where she was but then I saw her. She looked beautiful in that dress. At that moment she saw me to and ran to me, and with open arms she ran into my arms. I didn't want to let go but then she moves her face so it is equally matched with mine. I thought it was weird because I was nearly a foot taller than her. I suddenly realized I had lifted her off the ground, and with that her lips reached mine and nothing else mattered.

"What are you doing here?" she asked breaking our kiss.

"I missed you." I replied back putting her down. I turned to see that the group of boys now had their eyes on me. They seemed friendly, all except one. I didn't know what his problem was but I could give a rat's ass I was with my girl and nothing would sour the mood. Or so I thought.

I really don't know what happened it all happened so quickly. First Leah was introducing me to her pack members and then she was pushing me into the arms of some short pixie like girl. We went upstairs to try on the suit but it didn't fit so we went back down stairs. As we got there I saw Leah yelling. She said she had anger issues but I had never seen her like this. If looks could kill we'd all be in hell 5 minutes ago. Then it was over we were leaving in the car I had rented and she was crying on my shoulder. She was upset, really upset. I could only put the blame on one person, Sam. I hated him with every fiber of my being for what he did to her the first time but now he had gone overboard. Why couldn't he just let her be happy? I needed to cheer her up.

We drove onto a dirt road for 20 minutes, she had stopped crying now. We parked and I got out opening her door. She looked at me suspiciously.

"What are we doing here?" she asked her voice weak from crying.

"You'll see" I said winking at her. This made her smile; my plan was starting to work. We walked and walked to we reached a little lake with purple flowers and green grass everywhere. Her eyes widened in shock.

"This is where we met." She said

"Yes it is." She just turned and kissed me and I kissed back with much enthusiasm, we stayed like this until we ended up on the ground. Then we held each other until it was dark. As we sat there I couldn't help but think about the day we met here not but 6 years ago…….

Ok so this chapter shows a small taste of their life together during the 4 years she is away. Next chapter will be how they first meet, and the upcoming chapters will tell where they have been for the past 4 years so I hope you like it.

Plz review! Much love teila/leahlover1208 3


	10. it was a wednesday, it was a thursday

Leah pov

I couldn't believe it here we were me and john in the middle of no man's pond, the place we first met. It was 6 years ago when I first came here and nearly 6 years when I left and never looked back. This was our place, this is where our love began and ended as well. As I lay in his arm s I couldn't help of think of that day, the day our lives would change forever. Back then I hated that day and tried my hardest to banish it from my memory but now I cherish it with every fiber of my being.

"Do you remember?" he asked me breaking the bliss filled silence.

"Of course it was a Wednesday……."

Flash back

Today was going to suck, then again everyday for the past 3 weeks sucked, because exactly 3 weeks ago today Sam had left me. It broke my heart and he didn't even have the decency to tell me why? All he said was "I can't explain it to you Leah but trust me it's a good reason. You could never truly understand." It all sounded like a pile of shit to me. But like I said today was going to suck I'm not sure what but I can tell something major is going to happen.

I left the house to go over to Emily's house ever since the break up she's the only one I can talk to. She, like me hates Sam's guts right now and whenever he would come around she was always there for me. This is the reason I love her so much. I got to her house I went to open the door but it was locked. She must still be asleep, but wait its nearly 9 o'clock Emily is always up annoyingly early. So I went around back to see if that door was unlocked. I went around back when I saw the door swing open, 'must be taking out the trash' I thought seeing as she rarely uses this door. I waited for her to walk out but then I saw it……….. Sam. He looked a mess his shirt wasn't tucked in like it always is and his hair was a mess. What was he doing here? He was walking out when I heard Emily call out to him. She walked out wearing a huge oversized button up collared shirt, clearly not hers. It took me a second to realize it was his shirt, Sam's shirt. Why did she have his shirt on? Why was he even there to begin with? Then I took a better look and I realized what was going on. She slept with him.

That would explain everything. Why he was here so early, why her hair was a mess and why all she had on was his shirt. How could she? She was my best friend and he was my boyfriend, granted he had just broken up with me but it had only been 3 weeks. I started to cry as I saw her give him a hug and kiss him, it hurt when I saw him kiss her back with such passion and it nearly killed me when he pulled away and smiled at her like she was the only thing that matter.

"Last night was the best night of my life, I love you Emily." He said while holding her in his arms

"I love you too" she whispered kissing him one more time. How could she my best friend. My hurt quickly vanished and turned into anger.

"How could you" I yelled at them they broke apart both of their eyes were wide with horror after they realized I was there.

"Leah, I can explain"

"Explain explain what how 3 weeks after you break up with me I find you leaving my whore of a cousin's house."

"Don't call her that" Sam yelled back at me angrily.

"Of course you would defend her seeing as how you have been fucking her behind my back the whole time, and to think you would do it with her. Why her Sam? Why did it have to be her we used to be best friends." I yelled I was sobbing deep angry tears.

"Leah we still are best friends, we are sisters." Emily finally interjected.

"No we are not, both of you are nothing to me you are just the bastard who broke my heart and the bitch that sleep with my ex boyfriend." I grabbed the necklace that Emily had given to me years ago when we promised to be best friends forever and threw it at her. I ran home and locked myself in my room. For the next 3 days they tried over and over to apologize outside my bedroom door seeing as I wasn't letting anyone in here.

After they finally left I turned on my TV to watch TV I figured it would make me feel better. Seeing how screwed up other peoples' lives were would make me feel a ton better. Boy was I wrong, I basically had another breakdown afterwards and it was all over an episode of _one tree hill _it seems stupid but it really made me think. It wasn't what happened that upset me it was the words that were said they fit my situation perfectly and hearing it out loud made it hurt it even more.

"Life's funny sometimes it can push you pretty hard. Like when you fall in love with someone but they forget to love you back, like when your best friend and your boyfriend leave you alone, like when you pull the trigger or light the flame and you can't take it back."

It hurt so much to hear that, it was as if someone wrote those words just for me as if they were mocking me. It was true I loved Sam but he didn't love me. Why else would he dump me and then sleep with Emily 3 weeks later? They both betrayed me my best friend and my boyfriend well ex boyfriend that is. I'm so upset with them I'll never be able to forgive them never. So I ran away, I jumped out my window and ran through the woods until I reached no man's pound. It was called that because no man ever went there unless they were lost because it was impossible to find on your own. I had never been here before and for some reason I felt drawn to this place I had no clue why. I got there and it was beautiful the sun shone perfectly on the water and the flowers were beautiful.

I sat down letting my fingers trace across the water and touch the flowers. I was at peace that is until I realized I wasn't alone.

"Are you ok?" the stranger asked.

"I'm fine, leave me alone" I gripped back I was in no mood to talk to him I didn't even bother looking at him in hopes of him just walking away. But of course he wasn't going to walk away I was attracted to people who didn't know when to leave me alone. He sat next to me.

"You don't look fine, I mean most girls don't just run crying in the middle of nowhere for nothing."

"I'm fine ok" I turned finally looking at him. He was extremely handsome. He had long blonde hair and blue eyes and a perfect smile to match. Something about him made me want to be with him, something about him made me comfortable. Normally I would cuss him out because he was trying to help me but for some reason I didn't want him to leave.

"I'm john" he said extending his hand.

"Leah" I shook his hand, once again weird I don't go and talk to strangers but there is just something about him.

"Leah, well it's nice to meet you."

We sat there and talked for what seemed like forever but I felt happy which was weird seeing as how I had just found my ex best friend and my ex boyfriend together but It was like the whole world melted away for a little while, I liked that feeling. He got up to leave, I didn't want him to go but I knew it had to end it always did.

"We should go, it's getting late and I don't think it's safe for you to be wondering in the woods at night." He said.

"Your right I should go my family's probably wondering where I am." I said getting up to walk away.

"Leah, I…I "

"Yes?"

"I'd like to see you again if that's ok with you" he said it with a nervous smile, I thought it was cute. I thought about what he said and in my mind I was screaming at myself to say no but before I could stop myself I said "yes I would like that to how about tomorrow at Ridge dale park?"

"I'd love to." He said before walking away.

After finally finding my way home I was surrounded by a group of worried faces, I by passed them all and went straight to my room.

End of flash back

To this day no one knows where I was that day, it felt like a private memory, something only between me and john. I know now what it was that made me so drawn to him back then. It was my inner wolf longing to be with its imprint.

"It was a Thursday" I said kissing him on the cheek.

"What was a Thursday?" he asked confused

"The day I realized I'd love you forever." He smiled and kissed me, I deepened the kiss.

"Let's go, I'm dying to meet your mother" he said with a cheeky smile.

"Ok ok let's go" I said standing up and grabbing his hand. It amazed me how easy it was for how to calm me down; nothing in the world could calm me down in the old days. I was so lucky to have him our life together was perfect and if I could I would have never come back but o have a problem, a problem only a certain doctor could help me.

I needed to talk to Carlisle.

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**Sorry it took me so long to update guys; school has been hectic to much work. But I hope you liked it. Plz review. **


	11. gross your old

**Leah's pov**

It was a short drive back from the pond to my house. As we drove a put my head on John's shoulder, his heart was racing I knew he was nervous about meeting mom. I thought I was both cute and funny. I mean he faces me, an easily enraged wolf everyday like it was a walk in the park but he looked like he was about to pee his pants over meeting a middle aged woman. I laughed at the thought.

"What?" he asked taking his eye off the road to look at me, smiling. He had a gorgeous smile. It was among my 3 favorite things about him along with his deep blue eyes and well…. We'll leave the last one to your imagination.

"I can't believe how nervous you are" I said after a long silence.

"Oh yea I've been in love with this girl say about 6 years and I'm about to met her mother in about say 20 minutes, why would I be nervous?" he mumbled sarcastically.

"Exactly what I was thinking" I joked back with him.

"Oh come on of course I'm nervous I mean for one I'm having with your mother. Not to mention your over grown brother that looks like he could take me down with his pinky."

"Oh stop, Seth is harmless and mom will love you"

"How can you be so sure?" I could tell he was getting ready to argue with me. He loved to argue, of course I always one but he came a close second.

"She will love you because I love you and you make me happy, and all she wants is for me to be happy so she will love you by default." I said, and then I kissed him so he wouldn't continue. I knew he was nervous, having my family like him was really important to him, the kiss was soft and sweet and of course amazing as always. We go perfectly together, even better now than we did back then one of the perks to imprinting. He pulled away from the kiss and I felt alone, one of the downsides of imprinting. Whenever I kiss him my life is complete there is so much warmth and love I feel like my whole life is put into that kiss and when he pulls away it feels like my life is being taken away and all the warmth and love in my world is gone. A bit dramatic I know.

"Well what about your pack brothers, Sam looked like he wanted to kill Me." he said with a hint of anger in his voice. John never really liked Sam I mean who would like the man who broke your girlfriends' heart?

"One Sam's an ass and his opinion doesn't matter. Nor does the opinions of any of my pack brother's matter. You are my imprint and I love you and I will love you and be with you forever." I sad looking him in the eye showing him that I mean every word of it. He turns from me to look at the road. He says nothing, this scares me. But seconds later a goofy grin spread across his face "forever?" he said not breaking that goofy grin of his. John loved when I said things about us being together forever and all that. He told me that his greatest fear is that one day I'll wake up and decide coming back to him was the biggest mistake I've ever made, and I'll leave him in a New York minute. It's funny because that's my exact same fear. When I left to go find john I thought he would a) never want to see me again, b) be with someone else, or c) be dead. Thank god it wasn't any of them.

I really didn't expect him to welcome me with open arms but he did. Thank god for imprinting. I know I use to hate imprinting because it took Sam away from me but the second I laid my eyes on john I thanked god or whoever thought of imprinting. You see apart from John, Sam is the only man I loved and when it was over I was devastated. So when I feel in love with john I told myself I would never fall in love again, so when I left to find him I told myself no matter what happened I would never want anyone else. It's strange really I felt this way for a long time. What amazed me was the fact that I kept him a secret from the pack for so long. But truthfully I was glad Sam was always there. I was so angry by him just being near me it helps detain my thoughts of john. I had slipped a couple of times while Sam wasn't there but since my pack brothers are all idiot s they never put 2 and 2 together.

As I was thinking we turned the corner and approached a little pale blue house. The house I had grown up in. the house where so much of my heart ache was experienced. For years I couldn't wait to escape from that hell and now I was coming back, to say I wasn't looking forward to it was an understatement. We parked in the drive way and John turned to me.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, it's just odd being back here after so much time has passed." I said as he took my hand

"We can do this another time if you want" he said trying to ease my nerves.

"No, I want to do it now. I miss mom I want to see her." We got out of the car; John took my hand as we walked up the driveway. John went to knock on the door but I stopped him. La push was a small town where everyone knew each other so we didn't bother locking doors because no one would bother to break in anyone's house around here. Plus half of the people in La push were broke so they had nothing to steal.

I opened the door and a wave of emotion hit me as I walked in. nothing had changed. Well there was a different coffee table but mostly likely the pack broke it while having another Friday night video game match. I was overwhelmed then I notice that john was staring at something, I wanted to run and hid when I saw what it was. A picture of me, I was about 7 with 2 missing teeth and pig tails, the camera and I were not friends. Not my best photo.

"Ugh, don't look it's embarrassing." I said hiding my head in my hands.

"I think you look just adorable" he said pulling my hands away to kiss me, pulling away too soon. We were walking in the kitchen when I heard a thumping sound. It was coming from upstairs. It sounded like someone was hammering something, I looked at the clock it was nearly 11:30 what could mom possibly be hammering at this time of night? I reached for a glass out of the pantry and dropped it. It shattered all over the floor. The hammering stopped, mom is probably wondering what Seth broke. John helped me pick up the pieces of broken glass; we heard footsteps racing down the stairs. Knowing mom she was probably coming to yell at Seth. Wait where was Seth?

I stood up to say hello to the mother I haven't seen in nearly 4 years. But instead of her I get a half naked Charlie Swan, with his gun in his hand. What was he doing here? Where were his clothes? Then my mother slowly trailed behind him in nothing but a house robe her hair was everywhere. It took me a minute to register what was going on. The hammering sound coming from my mother's room, a half naked Charlie Swan leaving my mother's room, my mother with sex hair looking at me bewilderedly…… EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW! My mother and Charlie Swan. I mean I could tell after dad had died they were getting closer but this is just gross.

"ewwww but your old!" I yelled still completely freaked out.

"Leah your home!" she said excitedly ignoring my comment. She ran and hugged me. "I've missed you so much"

"Yea I missed you too mom." I said trying to pull away from her vice grip. As much as I missed her I really didn't want to hug her especially not when she was just upstairs 'getin busy' with Charlie.

"Why are you here? How long are you staying? Who is this? How have you be-"I stopped her in the mist of her rambling.

"Mom this is John my boyfriend, and I am so grossed out right now that I am going to leave and talk to you later." I said grabbing John's hand and practically running out the door.

"Oh before I go, where is Seth?" I asked wearily. I couldn't look her in the eye especially not when she looked like that.

"Oh he's at the bonfire at first beach, that's where Sam and Emily were having their wedding reception"

"Thanks, it's good to see you mom…umm….. Charlie" I said smiling at her and nodding at Charlie.

"It's good to see you too, and nice to meet you John" she said waving at us. I knew john was going to engage in conversation with her but I would not allow it. I wanted to be as far away from that house as possible, plus I wanted to see Seth. We only got a minute to catch up with him and I really missed the little brat.

"So I guess you will have to meet my mother another time" I said holding his hand as we walked to the beach.

"Well she seems nice" he said with a smirk on his face. I hit his arm playfully as we approached the beach. It wasn't that hard to miss, I mean a bunch of Native American people prancing around a big fire, whats to miss? The second my get hit the sand I was bombarded with hugs. Seth was the first to get to me, the rest were a blur between wolves and imprints. As I let go of the last person I turn to see Sam. His eyes were filled with fury. Giving me and John the death glare. I could tell a fight was coming and it wasn't going to be pretty.

**Hi people. Again I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I blame it on two thing, world history and algebra 2. School has me so busy lately but I promise I won't go this long without updating again. Oh yea, so the votes are in and……. You all voted not to have a sex scene next chapter. **** JUST KIDDING!!!!!! all the votes I got were yes's!! So either next chapter or the chapter after that will be it. Plz review!!**


	12. and i'll do the same

**Leah's pov**

John and I had been at the bonfire for about two seconds and already a fight was about to start. I really didn't feel like dealing with Sam and his bullshit right now. So I simply took John's hand and walked around him to take a seat by the fire. This seemed to infuriate him even more but I honestly did not care. The rest of the pack joined us around the fire. I looked over to see Emily trying to get Sam to calm down. She had changed from her wedding dress into a nice lavender sundress that hung above her knees. Despite the scars, Emily was one of the prettiest girls I had ever known, and age had definitely only made her even more beautiful. I turned back around to look at John, he was smiling at me and I felt complete. I leaned in and kissed him softly before I heard someone yell "get a room" the voice belonged to my younger brother Seth, apparently he wasn't too keen on public demonstrations of affection, oh well he would have to deal with it.

"Ha ha" I said smiling, at the mortified expression on my brother's face.

"So where have you two been hiding out all this time?" Quil asked.

"Denver" John answered.

"Figures you would move to the mountains, you're a true wolf at heart" Jake said with a smirk. He was right though I loved living by the mountains. Being surrounded by a forest made me calm, I think it was my wolf instinct. Even though I hated being a wolf it was still part of me.

By now Sam and Emily had joined us, sitting as far away from us as possible. Sam was breathing hard and I could hear faint whispers of "calm down sweetie" and "be nice". 'What a pansy!' I thought. Sam needed to seriously dig out whatever the hell was up his ass and chill the fuck out. What the hell was his problem? I mean you'd think he would be happy that I didn't love him anymore, any rational person in his place would be, but no, Sam refuses to acknowledge that I have in fact moved on.

"So where are you guys staying?" Emily asked breaking the silence.

"We're staying at John's parents' house." I answered finally breaking my gaze from John.

"Oh, I didn't know your parents lived in La push" I could tell by the look on Sam's face that he wanted her to stop asking him questions. He didn't give a rat's ass about John, but Emily was very interested.

"They don't … well they use to … but about 10 years ago they went on a trip to London and they 'fell in love' with this villa they were staying at and they have lived there since."

"So what you just live in your parents house?" I'm not sure who asked the question but I know it was either Quil or Embry seeing as how the question was stupid. Hadn't I just said that?

"Actually … No the house is mine" my eyes zoomed back to John. I was not aware that owned a house, I was slightly angry that he had failed to mention something so important. I mean owning a house, constitutes as important, right?

"What?" I said flabbergasted.

"Well it was supposed to be a surprise but … since you know I might as well tell you. I knew that after visiting La push for a couple of weeks it would be hard for you to leave so … I figured that I should buy a house just in case you changed your mind. So I brought **US** a house." He said looking at me smiling. "You bought us a house?" I whispered to him in disbelief. He nodded and I took his face in my hands and kissed him.

"I love you" I whispered against his lips. The moment was perfect but like all perfect moments it had to come to an end. Ours ended with a snort of disgust from none other than Sam Uley. He just had to ruin the moment, the insufferable jackass.

"Got a problem Uley?" John hissed after breaking away from our kiss. This surprised me, normally I'm the hot headed one who is yelling at everyone and John is the one trying to calm me down.

"What did you say?" Sam hissed back, stalking towards us. John was up too and of course I jumped up to protect him and before I knew it there was a ripple effect causing everyone to jump up and stand protectively in front of their partners. I turned and looked at John whose light blue eyes turned dark with anger. Despite the commotion, I couldn't help but focus on his eyes, they looked so sexy when he was angry, it made me want to jump him and let him have his way with me right then and there. I restrained myself for Seth's sake.

"You heard me I asked you if you had a problem" John and Sam were inches apart much to my disliking. I took John's arm and pulled him back sliding in between him and Sam.

"Back off" I said through gridded teeth, we were having a death glare contest, and the air was thick with tension.

"You want to know what my problem is? My problem is you. First, you go off with him to have some secret love affair years ago that none of us knew about until you lost **HIS** baby. Then you mope around for months and then you say that you're leaving for a year, but no you leave for four and to top it all off you come back with this asshole and I don't like it, he's changed you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I yelled, after he finally ended his tirade. I could tell he was finally letting go of all his anger and unwanted feelings toward me and that was fine but John had nothing to do with this. This was between him and me.

"Look at you, you've come back smiling being nice to people like you don't hate us, when I can name countless occasions where you made it your mission to express that you did. I've been in your head Leah, I know who you are and this isn't you" who the hell was he to tell me who I was. It's true I've changed but I was sure that the change was for the better. I've changed back to the girl that I used to be. I'm not a bitter harpy who takes her pain out on everyone else. I have grown and found love once again, most importantly I am the happiest in this point of my life, then I can ever recall being.

"You're wrong, this is the really me. That girl whose head you were in was the angry lesser version of the real me. That girl was bitter and angry because she still loved you. I'm not pining over you anymore so deal with it." I was tired of this. I hadn't even been in La push twenty-four hours and I had already gotten into two fights with him and witnessed a crime against nature between my mom and Charlie. I just wanted to go home and snuggle up with John; that always made me feel better after a long hard day.

"Look Sam it's obvious that you can't be happy for me and that breaks my heart because I love you and I want nothing more than for you to be happy. So I think it's best if we not see each other." He just stared at me in shock not only because of my words but also because I was crying. It's a rare occasion that you see Leah Clearwater crying no matter how much I have changed. We stood there in silence before John got the queue that it was time to leave. Taking my hand we began to walk away. "So what, you tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again?" I stopped in the midst of walking away, his words froze me. My brain let out a reel of memories; those were the same words I uttered to him six years ago when he told me that he was leaving me.

_Flashback_

_We were walking in the woods holding hands we didn't speak to each other, it had been like that a lot lately and I was tired of it._

"_Sam you've been acting so distant lately. What's wrong?" I asked I was really worried ever since I introduced him to Emily. He had been acting strange ever since. The time we spent together was forced and awkward. It was like his body was with me but his heart yearned to be somewhere else. I could tell he was hiding something from me and I was going to figure it out._

_"It's nothing Lee-Lee" he said releasing a long heavy sigh. _

"_Sam it's me you can tell me anything, it's killing me how distant you have been, please tell me what's wrong?"_

"_You're right there is something wrong and it's not fair for me to keep this going on, it's only going to end up hurting both of us in the long run" he was now facing me, his eyes filled with guilt and sorrow._

"_What are you saying? Sam you're scaring me."_

"_I'm sorry Lee-Lee I can't do this anymore" his head hung low as he whispered this to me. He was dumping me and he didn't have the balls to look me in the eye when he did it._

"_What, why, I don't understand?" I asked nearly in tears. This had to be a joke, some sick twisted joke._

"_This just isn't working out for me anymore, I love you I really do but we can't-"_

"_-Can't what Sam? Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix this please. Don't you love me anymore?" I was crying now and he wouldn't look me in the eye. I was pleading for him to stay and tell me that he loves me and that everything would be okay, but he had already made up his mind. I could tell it was over and there was nothing I could do. But why? What did I do wrong?_

"_I'm so sorry Lee-Lee. I do love you … I always will. But we can't be together. You wouldn't understand"_

"_THEN EXPLAIN IT TOO ME" I was trying so hard to understand. My world was falling apart, I was losing everything and the person who was responsible was the very thing I was losing. _

"_In a different time and in a different world we could have been happy. I have to go but no matter what I want you to know that I really did love you." With that he began to walk away. Seeing him walk made the anger in me grow._

"_So what that's it? You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again? I've given you the best years of my life, my body and soul is yours and yet you end thing, and you don't even have the nerve to tell me why" I cried angry tears as he turned to look at me one last time. This time he looked me in the eye as he whispered "goodbye". Then he walked away leaving me there on the cold, wet, forest floor crying angry sobs begging him to come back._

_End of flashback_

I don't know what possessed him to bring that up especially in front of his wife, who he just married some hours ago. Those words were like a slap in the face, of all times Sam Uley had hurt me that was by far the worst and to bring it up only made it worse. That day I uttered those words to him and he said goodbye and walked away. Today, I was going to take a page from his book, and do the same.

"Goodbye" I told him as I took John's hand and walked away. As I grasped John's hand, I cleared my mind of all the shit that gone down throughout the day and focused on the only person that truly mattered … John.

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Ok so yea it took 4ever for me to update again I'm sorry.

**But special thanks goes out to ari1990 my new beta! She has been awesome with helping me since day one and I thank her greatly!!**


	13. 4 months and you finally get a lemon!

**Fuck me one mo 'gin**

Ok so you are probably wondering what's with the title. Well my best friend and I had a discussion and she didn't think I would really name my next chapter this. And me being me I'll do anything to prove a point so 1krazichika309 here you go! ;)

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Today had been a long, tiring day for both John and Leah. They both wanted nothing more than to relax in their new house and retire to bed. When they arrived home John decided to take a shower and Leah decided to cook because neither of them had eaten all day. After searching the pantries Leah decided on spaghetti. While the noodles were boiling she decided to unpack some of their clothes. She came across John's Sex Pistols t-shirt, a shirt he wore to bed often. He loved this shirt but as much as he loved the shirt he loved Leah in it more. As she went back into the kitchen to check on the noodles she could hear the shower water being turned off. Stirring the noodles she could hear John rummaging through their room. Leah found it quite odd that over the years she hadn't lost some of her wolf abilities, like super hearing, or the high temperature and that deep seeded growl that comes with being angry. She found that rather annoying.

"Babe, have you seen my sex pistols shirt?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen. She turned to look at him and gasped at the sight before her. He wore nothing but a towel. She couldn't help but stare. She loved the way the towel clung tightly to his waist and how the water dripped down his well toned body. She let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding to look in his eyes. Their eyes met both showing equal amounts of lust; he too was admiring her body. He loved it when she wore his clothing. The shirt hung loosely on her, going down to her mid thigh yet you could still see the outline of her beautiful curves. After a long minute John decided to make the first move and with three long strides he crossed the room capturing her lips with his.

They were lost in the kiss as his hands found their way to her hair and her hands were wrapped around his waist as their mouths moved in perfect unison. His tongue licked her bottom lip in a silent request. She granted it, opening her own mouth and moaned as their tongues connected with one another. He traced the corners of her mouth with his skillful tongue and she was in heaven. He had her under his spell and without realizing it he had slowly been moving them backwards. She hadn't realized it until her back hit the counter.

Her knees settled on either side of him, cradling his body in between her heat. He lifted her up onto the kitchen counter as their tongues vied for dominance. Her legs wrapped around him pushing him further into her making his towel slip off and hit the floor. Neither of them noticed that he had lost his towel nor did they really care. He lifted her up on top of the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist.

He trailed his hands down her back to the hem of the shirt before pulling it off of her in one quick move. He broke the kiss and trailed kisses down her neck to her chest as his hands skimmed up her sides making her moan loudly. She ran her hands down his bare back and pressed her feet into his ass and that is when she felt his erection against her leg.

"Are you happy to see and feel me or is there another reason that you're poking my leg?" Leah asked in a husky voice.

John chuckled and said "I'm happy to see you and feel you. I can't wait to be inside of you."

She bit his neck and then whispered in his ear "Don't wait then. I need to feel you inside of me, around me and on me. I need you so much."

John groaned and pulled Leah to the edge of the counter and took his dick in his hand and lined it up and pushed into Leah nice and slow. Leah moaned a long moan as she felt his length enter her inch by inch. Once John was all the way in he stopped moving and picked Leah up off of the counter and with his dick still in her carried her to their bedroom.

With his dick still in her and standing up John pulled out and thrust back in deep and hard. He pulled back out and then threw Leah on the bed. A second later he was back on top of her and grabbed both of her hands into one of his and pinned them above her head. He seated himself in between her legs and thrust back into Leah's dripping pussy making her scream out his name.

John growled and said "That's it scream my name Leah. I want to know how much you enjoy the feel of my rock hard cock inside of you. Tell me how much you like it baby. TELL ME!"

Leah screamed "Oh God yes, John! I love the feel of your rock hard cock in me. I want you to fill me up. I need you to fuck me hard. Yes, John fuck me! Oh God yes right there!"

John quickened his pace as he thrust in and out of Leah. When he pulled back he pulled completely out of her and flipped her onto her stomach.

"Get on your knees Leah." John growled.

Leah quickly got on her knees as she was told. John got behind Leah and after positioning himself he thrust into her hard and deep making Leah scream again. As he was thrusting in and out of her he was slapping her ass with one hand while the other one reached around and pressed on her clit. Leah screamed loudly as she came all over John's dick. John thrust in and out a couple more times before pulling out of Leah again.

He picked her up in his arms and carried her over to the dresser. He sat her on the dresser and scooted her to the edge and thrust in deep. Leah wrapped her legs around John and moaned his name as she felt him moving inside of her.

"Look in the mirror Leah. Look in the mirror and watch my cock entering you." John ordered.

Leah turned her head and gasped at the sight that met her eyes and said "Oh God."

John started thrusting in deeper, harder and faster with each thrust. He bent his head and took one of Leah's nipples into his mouth. He could feel his climax coming on so he lifted his head and watched the mirror. His eyes met Leah's and he could tell that she was close to coming again.

"That's it Leah cum with me. I need to feel you squeezing my cock in you even deeper. CUM FOR ME LEAH!" John said.

Leah let out a scream as she came hard on John's cock. That was all it took. John pulled out and thrust back in harder than before and deeper and his seed poured into Leah.

John and Leah were both trying to catch their breath after that love making session. John was still inside Leah but he couldn't find the strength to move. But she didn't care, she loved the feeling of him on top of her, his hot sweaty body pressed against hers. As she lay there she thought about their life and the events that were soon to come. Tomorrow could change everything. She had been worried for months and her true reason for returning to La Push was for the question that plagued her mind to finally be answered. The only person who she truly believed could answer it was on Carlilse Cullen. It would be strange for her to go back to that house, after what had happened the last time. But she pushed those thoughts aside, for now all she wanted to focus on was the beautiful man that held her in his arm.

* * *

alright so it's been a couple of months since i last updated! i've gotten lazy i know! i started writting this other story and sorta got enthralled in it....

any way speical thanks to my awesome Beta **Alley83**!

but special special thanks goes out to **Angel N Darkness** who wrote half of this chapter! not to mention she is like a genius! and has great stories of her own, so check her out you guys!

hope you liked it! **plz Review**!


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